Money Back Guarantee (Mail Order Massacres) by Hunter Shea

Available for preorder at Amazon
Description
YOUR MONEY BACK OR YOUR LIFE . . .
 
Protect America’s shores with your very own nuclear submarine! Constructed from durable fiberboard material, this submersible is large enough for two kids! Sail off into imaginative international intrigue for just $1.99! If this toy doesn’t float your boat, return it for a full refund!

With her son’s heart set on piloting his own nuclear submarine, Rosemary Lanchester orders the craft advertised on the back of a comic book. What arrives is more sub-standard than submarine, but her son loves the cheap piece of cardboard. Until he and a friend nearly drown when they take the sub for a deep sea dive in the swimming pool.

Enraged, Rosemary reports the toy’s manufacturer to the Better Business Bureau. The company’s customer service center retaliates with threatening phone calls. Then her son and husband mysteriously disappear.

To save her family, Rosemary tracks down the company’s headquarters with the help of her brother—a survivalist with enough toys of his own to wage an all-out war.

And she still wants her $1.99 refunded.

Not to nitpick but my obsessive compulsive nature requires that I state that the money back guarantee was for 5 dollars, not $1.99

Having previously read Optical Delusion and Just Add Water by Hunter Shea I was anxiously awaiting this third installment, and as much as I enjoyed both of those, this is by far my favorite adventure into the horrors of mail order shopping.

Set in the 1980s and steeped in all it's glorious culture of Tupperware parties this fast paced horror takes what should be a mundane ordinary experience and turns it into something horrifying.
Against her better judgment, Rosemary allows herself to be talked into purchasing a toy from an advertisement in the back of a comic book for her son Dwight. Naturally, when it finally arrives it's a piece of junk. When Dwight and his friend nearly drown while playing, Rosemary has quite literally a hell of time trying to track down the elusive "AdventureCo" manufacturer that nobody has ever heard of. Unfortunately for Rosemary, AdventureCo has heard of her, and they do not like complaints.
5 out of 5 stars

I received an advance copy for review.

Dawn in Damnation by Clark Casey

Buddy Baker is a dead man. Literally. After gunning down more men than Billy the Kid—and being hung by a rope necktie for his crimes—the jolly, fast-drawing fugitive reckoned he’d earned himself a nonstop ticket to hell. Instead, he finds himself in Damnation: a gun-slinging ghost town located somewhere between heaven and hell.

There are no laws in Damnation. Only two simple rules: If you get shot, you go directly to hell. If you stay alive without shooting anyone for one year, you just might get into heaven.

Hardened outlaws pass the time in the saloon playing poker and wagering on who will get sent to hell next, while trying not to anger the town’s reclusive vampire or the quarrelsome werewolves. Buddy winds up in everyone’s crosshairs after swearing to protect a pretty gal who arrives in Damnation pregnant. Her child might end up a warm-blooded meal for the supernatural residents, or it could be a demon spawn on a mission to destroy them all.


Damnation is somewhere between heaven and hell, the place where you end up if you don't make it to heaven. If you die while you're there (even though you are already dead?) it seems to put you on the fast track to hell. If you can behave yourself and not kill anyone, rumor has it that you might be allowed into heaven after a 1 year stay. So far nobody knows. Oddly enough there is no shortage of bacon here and although you can't starve to death when you are already dead, the townsfolk do seem to enjoy being able to eat piles of bacon strips. Women are few and far between in Damnation, and on the rare occasion one shows up they tend not to last too long. When a pregnant dead woman lands herself in Damnation somehow still carrying a live unborn baby it's an unusual situation even for this odd town.
Although I do enjoy comedy/horror this one just wasn't my cup of tea. I think fans of fantasy may enjoy it more than horror fans.
3 out of 5 stars from me.
I received an advance copy for review

Lay Me to Rest by E. A. Clark

Description

Some secrets never stay buried for long…

Devastated by the death of her husband, Annie Philips is shocked to discover she is pregnant with his unborn child. Hoping for a fresh start, she travels to a remote stone cottage in Anglesey, amidst the white-capped mountains of North Wales.

She settles in quickly, helped by her mysterious new neighbour, Peter. But everything changes when Annie discovers a small wooden box, inlaid with brass and mother-of-pearl. A box she was never supposed to find…

Annie soon realises that she isn’t alone in the cottage. And now she’s trapped. Can she escape the nightmare that she has awoken, or will the dark forces surrounding the house claim her life – and that of her baby?

 

Annie is struggling to come to grips with her status as newly widowed. She is about to become a single mom and grieving not only the loss of her husband, but the fact that he will never know the child he so desperately wanted.

Her sister suggests a change of scenery may help lift her from her depression. So off she goes for a stay in what is meant to be a peaceful little cottage in the country. That peace and quiet is short lived when it becomes apparent that more than one ghost inhabits this property and is seeking the closure and justice they never got in life.

This was not really a story I would have expected to find in the horror section, but it was a fairish paranormal mystery.

3 out of 5 stars

 

I received an advance copy for review.

 

 

The Way Back to Florence by Glenn Haybittle

In 1937 Freddie (English), Isabella (Italian) and Oskar (a German Jew) become friends at an art school in Florence where they are taught by the dictatorial but magus-like Maestro and his sinister fascist assistant Fosco. When war arrives Freddie returns to England to become the pilot of a Lancaster bomber. Oskar, now a dancer, has moved to Paris where he escapes the 1942 roundup of Jews and arrives in Italy with his young daughter Esme. Isabella remains in Florence where she continues to paint. Until she is called upon by Maestro to forge an old master painting, apparently at the behest of the Führer himself, and as a result is seen as a Nazi collaborator by her neighbours.
The murderous skies over Germany and a war-torn Italy in the grip of Nazi occupation provide the setting for this novel about the love of a separated husband and his wife and the love of a man for his young daughter. Freddie and Oskar both hope to find their way back to Florence. But Florence’s heritage of preserving the identity and continuity of the past has never before been so under threat.

This was an impassioned story of love and brutality, told from multiple points of view over a span of several years, before and during WW II.
Isabella and Freddie had barely begun their life together when war separated them.
What most struck a chord with me was the character Oskar, and his love for his daughter Esme. How do you teach a child so young that the "bad people" want to hurt you just because you are Jewish? To hide who you are for your own safety but to not give up hope. There was so much ugliness, and  desperation but Esme never gave up hope because of Oskar.
.
This was a thought provoking tale of the cruelty of war and I can't count the number of times my heart was in my throat and tears were in my eyes. 5 out of 5 stars

I received a complimentary copy for review.