She Isn't Herself Tonight by Hailey Piper

 When Rabbit was ten years old, she was abducted by aliens. Then, it happened again when she was twenty. Now thirty, she’s ready for their next visit. What she isn’t prepared for is her boyfriend callously ending their long-term relationship and ejecting her from their shared home.

As her birthday approaches, the aliens still haven’t arrived. Rabbit descends into a spiral of growing paranoia and bizarre bodily transformations, until soon it seems that even her reflection has a mind of its own. With her only refuge being the chaos of strangers who might not have her best interests at heart, Rabbit worries that her ex’s abandonment not only severed her from his life, but also from her own. Struggling to orient herself within a world growing more topsy-turvy by the day, Rabbit must regain control before her aliens at last return.

Brittany, who prefers to be known as Rabbit, the nickname she was taunted with as a child, has been dumped by her boyfriend and put out of her home. Friendless and alone, she rents a room from a couple she barely knows.

In between stalking her ex and watching him walk the dog that she used to think of as hers, she waits with increasing anxiety for the aliens to come and take her. The anxiety is not fear that they will come; it is fear that they no longer want her. They came for her when she was 10 years old, and again when she was 20. It's nearly her 31st birthday, and she is still waiting. Have they abandoned her too? Rabbit feels no acceptance from anyone, including herself. Even her own reflection in the mirror hates her.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this book. This was my first read by Hailey Piper. Are they all this surreal and poignant? This is a story of trauma, body horror, and a desperation for love in a time of profound loneliness. I flew through this mind-blowing, genre-bending read with a mix of dread and hope for how it would end for Rabbit. 

My thanks to S&S/Saga Press for the e-ARC

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